Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day from The Brat Child

        Okay, I’ve decided to honor my mother this mother’s day with some top quality poetry from her daughter the gifted writer. *snort* Hey, no laughing this is serious business!

Let’s start with me. Daughter: the things I was as bratty child and have grown out of as an adult. (I think. I hope!)

D: dishonest
            A: argumentative
U: ungrateful
            G: galling
H: hateful
T: toxic
E: exasperating
R: rude

Now onto what Mother means to me… Mother’s Love And Caring

M: is for the mud I tracked across the floor a hundred times.
O: is for the orange juice you caught me drinking from the jug.
T: is for the toilet paper I never refilled.
H: is for the heated arguments that should have gotten me a slap upside the head.
E: is for my over-blown ego and your ability to ignore it.
R’: is for the rude replies and ignorant responses.
S: is for the shirking of chores and lazy-ass behavior.

L: is for the lies I told that you let slip by.
O: is for the obnoxious eye-rolling when asked to do something.
V: is for the vet bills for all my pets.
E: is for every time I was nasty to my sisters and you didn’t kick my ass.

A: is for Andrea, the sister you gave me who got blamed for my misbehaviour.
N: is for the nights I kept you up wondering where the hell I was and with who.
D: is for the dollars I wasted, extorted and ‘borrowed’ from you.

C: is for the chair I put through the china cabinet window: you don’t want to know how.
A: is for the annoying, stupid things that kept you awake at night.
R: is for my reign of terror over house, home and family.
I: is for all the ice cream I finished and blamed my siblings for.
N: is for the noisy, head splitting, rock music. Bet you regret giving me that stereo!
G: is for going to bat for me all the times I did something rude or idiotic in public.

            Good gravy, how could you even stand me? Thank heavens for a mother’s love that keeps her from killing her offspring!
            This one is for you Mom. I owe you and Dad for everything I am, everything I have achieved and accomplished. The stupid, irritating and annoying parts of me are all my own doing. You and dad are fabulous parents and I can’t thank you enough for all you have done for me. Nor can I apologize enough for the stress, trials and tribulations. Even if they were all Andrea and Jean’s fault. J Oh wait; they might have been Kevin’s fault too.  

Who me? Clearly I am the picture of innocence.
            I love you Mom, more than words can ever express.


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